Three Old Men Reminiscing In A Nursing Home

… complaining about their biggest regrets on getting old.

The first old man said, “I'd give anything to take a good piss like I did when I was young.  Every morning I get up it takes me 5 minutes to take a piss, and then it's only a small dribble.”

The second old man said, “I'd give anything to take a good sh.

like I did when I was young.  Every morning I sit on the stool and strain and strain until I can finally get something out.”

The third old man said, “Well, every morning at 5 I take me a really long piss.  Then at 6 on the dot I take a really big sh...”

The other two old men look at him and say, “So what the hell are you complaining about?”

The third old man says, “I don't wake up until 7”.